Remember my blog about my smartphone addiction? Probably not; it was almost 9 months ago. Anyway, I felt the urge to write again about it so I can close this chapter. What happened after I admitted my addiction. And what does acceptance mean.
What was my problem again?
So I did a lot of things to minimize my time on my smartphone. That did not have the desirable outcome I hoped for. And finally I got it. This is never going to work unless you truly want to change your behavior. No apps that block your screen or removing apps from your phone will ever be enough.
Then I asked myself: “Is it really that bad that you are on your phone all the time?”. The answer was: “No”. I use my phone for a lot of things like counting steps, looking at the weather forecast, budgeting and making social media posts on Canva. Very useful.
Did I have a problem with being on my phone so often? No, my problem was procrastination. Which has nothing to do with my phone. Procrastination is an inside job. It’s a mindset. No hardware can ever be blamed for it. I chose acceptance.
Acceptance in general makes life so much easier and more pleasant. Accepting what is – because all else is madness – is the best way to a balanced and relaxed life. My dear teacher Eckhart Tolle taught me that. Acceptance doesn’t mean you can never challenge yourself. Because only challenge can make you change. You have to be uncomfortable to let new and different behavior into your life. But first there is acceptance. From there on you can challenge yourself.
It is easier to accept a situation if you give it another meaning. Giving another meaning can be done by using another (positive) word. So in stead of telling yourself you are addicted, you can tell yourself that you love using your phone because it is easier to use than your laptop, you can take it with you all the time and – in my case – I don’t need glasses to read. I did some Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and therefore the negative word ‘addiction’ became a positive word ‘love’.
What did this whole smartphone detox actually teach me? Don’t be too hard on yourself because you think you have a problem. Who’s having a problem with that anyway … Be kind to yourself and accept what is and see what happens.
What works for me
What works for me is a clear schedule. With enough time for myself and not being to harsh if I don’t do what I was supposed to do. You can have a schedule and still be flexible. Since I have a new morning and evening ritual I am much more productive. I don’t procrastinate that much because I have a purpose now. I will write about my rituals and purpose later. First I had to deal with this issue because a part 1 needs a part 2.
Smartphones will never go away. And people who are judging other people with being on their phones too much don’t know that only 100 years ago we were all reading the newspaper at the bus station. (I can’t find that picture that represents it; if you find it, please let me know.) Accepting and embracing change is the fastest way to a happy life. Judging and arguing is so exhausting.
Please share your thoughts …